


The Path to Happiness

by deathrayofgay



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (someone says the f word so if that offends you i'm so sorry), Angst, Eventual Smut, Homophobia, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, Slurs, honestly i dont know where this is going so tags will be updated as it goes along
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 08:35:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7307872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathrayofgay/pseuds/deathrayofgay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi Hajime has pretty much always known that he was gay. It’s hard to ignore, in his case, since he almost literally melts at the sight of a man’s bare chest and his mouth goes dry when he sees even a sliver of a happy trail (safe to say, life is hard in the locker room – pun not intended). And yet he’s been in denial of his sexuality since the age of 13. But can you blame him? With a family like his, he’s lucky they didn’t smell the ‘sin’ on him. Then again, they only see what they want to see, and why would they want to see that their precious Hajime is anything other than your perfectly heterosexual Japanese boy?</p><p>AKA: Hajime is super gay for his setter</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Path to Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Prepare yourself for a shitstorm.

The idea for this fic from [this post](http://pastel--hinata.tumblr.com/post/145806096629/ok-but-image-iwaizumi-parents-not-knowing-he-is).

 

Iwaizumi Hajime tries not to visibly cringe as he watches the video currently playing in front of him. Two women are in the midst of an activity that Hajime assumes is supposed to be sexually satisfying, but he can’t help but think that it must be majorly painful and uncomfortable. The other men in the room (AKA Hajime’s Totally Straight™ cousins), don’t seem to have the same attitude to the porn; in fact, they seem to think that it’s pretty good if the pillows on their laps and open mouths are any indication. Hajime nearly laughs at the irony that 5 “traditional” (read: homophobic) Japanese men, that are related no less, are all sat together in the same room watching lesbian porn and getting turned on.

“Oi, Hajime!”

He looks over at Satoshi, the eldest Iwaizumi present, “Wha’sup?”

“You snagged yourself a chick yet?” He grins in a way that makes Hajime’s stomach twist in dread.

Hajime refrains from frowning and just shakes his head, returning his gaze – reluctantly – to the computer screen, “Nah, I’m just trying to focus on getting ready for finals and University.”

He hears a chorus of sighs and tongue-clicks of disapproval, followed by Satoshi’s amused comments, “Boo! You nerd! I’d swear you were a _fag_ if I didn’t know any better!”

Hajime forces himself to laugh along with his cousins trying his best to swallow the lump of fear in his throat, “Of course I’m not one of _those things_!” He pushes himself to his feet and walks to the door. “I just need the bathroom, I’ll be right back.”

He hears a few hums of acknowledgement before he slides into the bathroom, locking the door behind him and slumping on the side of the bath. The tears begin to prick at his eyes but he tries to blink them back.

_ Come on Hajime, just a few more months and then you can move away and escape all of these pricks. _

*****

Hajime has pretty much always known that he was gay. It’s hard to ignore, in his case, since he almost literally melts at the sight of a man’s bare chest and his mouth goes dry when he sees even a sliver of a happy trail (safe to say, life is hard in the locker room – pun not intended). Yet, he’s been in denial of his sexuality since the age of 13. But can you blame him? With a family like his, he’s lucky they didn’t smell the ‘sin’ on him. Then again, they only see what they want to see, and why would they want to see that their precious Hajime is anything other than your perfectly heterosexual Japanese boy?

“Iwa-chan~? Wakey wakey, beautiful~~!”

His head turns towards the owner of the regretfully sweet voice besides him, Oikawa Tooru, while his stomach twists at the pet name, “Huh?”

Oikawa grins widely, “You zoned out. Class is gonna start soon and you need to pay attention. You don’t wanna get in trouble, do you?”

Hajime looks back down to his desk again, willing himself to stay focused, “Yeah, thanks.”

Oikawa narrows his eyes in suspicion, leaning over to Hajime’s desk, “Hey, are you okay Iwa-chan?”

The spiker tries to avoid his friend’s eye contact, just nodding and pretending to read over his notes from their previous lesson,  “Yeah, I’m fine. Just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. I.. I ended up rewatching some monster movies,” he adds as an afterthought to elaborate.

Oikawa forces a smile to try and cover his concern at his friend’s not-so-obvious lying, “Oh silly Iwa-chan! Always so caught up in his silly fiction!”

Hajime looks up with an amused and exasperated expression, “What did you say, Mr _I-Pulled-An-All-Nighter-to-Rewatch-the-Alien-Series_?!”

The setter replies with his self-satisfied smirk and a wink, “Aliens aren’t fiction Iwa-chan. They’re out there.”

Hajime nods with a disbelieving expression, heart suddenly feeling lighter at the topic change, “Yeah, yeah. And one day so will Godzilla.”

Before Oikawa can respond, the teacher enters the room, and Hajime feels “saved by the bell”, so to say. As the teacher starts to review a mathematical theorem that Hajime has already mastered, he finds himself beginning to drift back into his thoughts.

Hajime has never been so lucky as to have a relationship; not even one of those relationships in elementary or middle school where you do nothing more than brag you have a girlfriend/boyfriend. Due to his forced childhood friendship with a certain brunette setter, Hajime has kind of had his hands too full to ever consider forming more than polite passing friendships with others, let alone any romantic relationships. Even though his friendship with Oikawa was somewhat constructed by both of their mothers, Hajime would never want to change anything about their years together.

Throughout their seemingly never-ending adventures – getting lost in the woods during hide’n’seek, Tooru breaking his arm after falling from a tree while trying to get the aliens’ attention, and the time Hajime was bitten by a particularly angry mother stag beetle and cried for an hour at the pain – Hajime would come to greatly appreciate Oikawa’s company, and often crave it in his times of need. Needless to say, Hajime was oblivious to his feelings for his best friend for many years, only finally coming to accept it in recent months due to his apparently spontaneous discovery of his sexuality when he catching his eyes lingering on Tooru’s ass during practice one afternoon. He instantly accepted the part of him, while still feeling guilty about his inability to provide his parents with the biological grandchildren they have always expressed a need – not a desire, a _need_ – for. But he knows he could never try to be anything else, not now that he was aware of the bubbling heat of homosexuality residing deep inside himself, rooted to the core of his being.

His thoughts wander deeper into likely class-inappropriate thoughts, remembering how Oikawa called Hajime “beautiful” moments before. Since discovering his feelings, Hajime has been left to do little more than try to restrain himself and ignore the fluttering of his stomach when Oikawa’s excessively extroverted personality leads him to flirt (in what Hajime can only assume to be an act for his more BL-obsessed fans or some kind of ego booster). Some days, when Hajime is feeling particularly miserable about his love-life, his brain reminds him of the depressing thought that Oikawa could probably have anyone he wants, and with as many girls as there are that are desperate to be that someone, there’s probably already an orderly list. What’s the likelihood that someone as perfectly universally gorgeous as _Oikawa Tooru_ would want someone like Hajime? They might be best friends, but somehow, Hajime thinks that their friendship would only stand as a hindrance in Oikawa’s warm hazel eyes.

Hajime is suddenly pulled violently out of his thoughts by the voice of said friend, “Iwa-chan~! You zoned out again; class is over! It’s time for lunch~!”

When Hajime looks up, he’s greeted with a subtly concerned expression from Oikawa, though he pretends like he hasn’t noticed, “Oh, okay. Are we going to the roof?”

Oikawa nods softly, as if he isn’t curious why his friend is confirming their 3-year-old habit. “Yup, let’s go~!”

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry.  
> Hmu at raythegay.tumblr.com ;)


End file.
